At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize