he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
