Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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