it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
