These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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