Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
