Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize