I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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