Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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