She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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