Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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