I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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