Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this