ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver