i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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