I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
