I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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