just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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