this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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