I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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