Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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