She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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