He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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