i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
