So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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