Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
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You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
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Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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