Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize