Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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