Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
