Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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