You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize