You smell like a Billy Joel song
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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