This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
