who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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