funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize