i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize