he wants to bone in the snuggie
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
