Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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