omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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