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I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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