Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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