Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
