I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Who did Billy Mays play for?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
