12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize