Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
