He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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