my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
