Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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