My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying