ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful