I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn