dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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