i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
