I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
