And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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