It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
