I could have mohawked her pubes.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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