I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
